Fantasy football: Nightmare edition

September 27, 2011 6:06 am

On Friday night I dreamed about fantasy football. Not really surprising, considering I had an in-depth discussion about it a few hours earlier at The Ale and The Witch in downtown St. Petersburg. In my dream, I decided not to play Eli Manning and accidentally moved him into a WR spot instead of a bench spot.

Clearly my subconscious took some creative license considering that is impossible to do and I don’t even own Eli Manning. I forgot to move Manning from that spot and by the time I realized that (in my dream), the games had already started and he was stuck there, meaning I was getting zero points because he isn’t a WR. Maybe this was more of a nightmare than a dream.

Although I doubt I would really be that absentminded in real life, I can see how it could happen in an extreme circumstance. How would I deal with it? Inevitably I would lose the matchup by a margin the empty spot clearly would have covered. My opponent would talk smack like he just defeated his lifelong rival, not his cousin. And I would rush to defend myself by pointing out that any of my bench players would have showed up his sissy starters.

But ultimately the loss would be embarrassing, infuriating and completely my fault. So if you have a similar situation (in real-life, not a dream), here are your reaction options:

Act like a jerk. Angrily remind your league-mates that you would have won if that stupid Brandon Lloyd had played. Then listen when they crack on you for leaving in an obviously injured player. Result: you look dumb.

Sulk. Self-loathingly remind your league-mates that you would have won if you hadn’t drank all night then slept until 1:15 p.m. Then listen when they remind you that they drank with you, but still managed to set a winning team. Result: you look like a crybaby who can’t hold his or her alcohol.

Suck it up and play for next week. Jokingly remind your league-mates that you would have won if you hadn’t been an idiot who forgot to set his team. Congratulate your opponent and then plan a domination for the next week. Result: you look like a laid-back opponent who knows when to dial back the competitiveness.

Clearly choice three is the only legitimate option—thanks to longtime reader Adam DePrimo for this insight. Your fourth choice is to never make this mistake. Best of luck.

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