The Margin: This V-day, get your sweetie something special

Valentine’s Day is this Friday. *Cue cheering couples and the monotonous booing of the perpetually single.* Whether you’re celebrating the 14th with someone sweet, or just enjoying the sugary delights of cookie dough ice cream, you’re bound to have love on the brain. Here are some lovey-dovey gift ideas that we’d like to see given more often.

  • WeNeedtoPutThisinthePaperSomewhereLOLSocks. Yes, socks. Show that special someone you care by knitting them a pair of glorious, love-stitched socks. You know, so they won’t get cold feet …

  • A non-traditional bouquet. Flowers are ordinary. Candy and confectionary cornucopias are being commonplace. Why not say “I love you” with a basket of bacon?

  • A handmade card. You seriously can’t go wrong with something handmade, however cheesy. Actually, the more cheese, the better.

  • A portrait of your face. To be hung over the mantle with care. (This gift idea not to be attempted by the artistically challenged.)

  • Confetti. I feel like our generation seriously underestimates the power of shredded paper in action. What could be more romantic than showering the person you love in an array of colorful confetti? Or, try Silly String. That works, too.

  • An embroidered hanky. Every proper lady needs a handkerchief embroidered with her lover’s initials. For the Jane Austen in us all.

  • A cardboard cutout of Jude Law. Really, don’t we all need more of Mr. Law in our lives? Hey, Jude!

  • A rock. Nothing says “We’ll always be together” like an age-old piece of sediment.

  • Cheese of the Month Club. It’s the gift that keeps on giving … for 12 months, anyway. Sounds like a gouda idea!

  • A trail of conversation hearts, spelling out your love story, that leads your honey bunny from their home all the way to the very spot where you first met, as fireworks burst in the background, with a heartfelt melody that you wrote just for them being sung overhead by a boy choir in robes, while Morgan Freeman narrates their sure-to-be-a-hit reaction, and all the while the power of your love makes the impossible possible, causing bald men to grow hair rapidly, and Ryan Seacrest to get taller. The problem is not putting all of this together, it’s trying to top it next Valentine’s Day.

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