Leave Facebook (and homework) behind with this
ultimate guide on how not to do anything productive.
Nicole Miller
Contributing Writer
5-Second Films
www.5secondfilms.com
Love to watch funny videos? Hate it when the drab scenes drag on, need time to buffer and slide past your 9 minutes of patience? Imagine a page with hundreds of videos to choose from, with run times that only last as long as a great one-liner. Now, enter this website into your browser and imagine no further.
A good way to spend your first 15 seconds:
1. Late for Work
2. Rock Band: Groupie Edition
3. What Girls Do in There
Dear blank, please blank.
www.dearblankpleaseblank.com
Dear blank, please blank is like a filing cabinet of heart-felt letters to any person, place or thing. The “letters” are about the length of a Tweet or Facebook status –quite soothing to a mind thriving in the social networking universe we live in today. Want to help decide what’s funny? Just click on the Moderate section to pick which entries should show up on the website or get tossed in the virtual dumpster. If you think they all suck, submit a few of your own.
“Dear Bread,
I’m hot, turned on and want you inside me.
Sincerely, Toaster.”
“Dear XM Radio,
Why so Sirius?
Sincerely, Anonymous”
When Parents Text
www.whenparentstext.com
Ok, maybe that fast-paced, technological universe isn’t for everyone. When a new-fangled digital device falls into the hands of your dad or grandma, the results can leave you gasping for air or just plain confused.
“ME: Ok thanks dad! <3 DAD: What is that? a butt with a cone?” “MOM: Can you please call me when you need to be picked up! Don’t do anything stupid! :-)8 ME: What is that emoticon? MOM: bowtie man! He doesn’t do anything stupid.” R.I.P. beepers.
Damn You Auto Correct!
www.damnyouautocorrect.com
You swore if it happened one more time, your expensive piece of technological crap would be going through your bedroom wall. It’s just trying to help, but even your phone has a brain fart every now and then. But alas, those incorrect autocorrects make you laugh too much to worry about your perplexed friend at the other end and phone with a mind of its own.
“Mommy loves you too my sweaty litter baby fire… “MY SWEET LITTLE BABY GIRL!! Sorry honey!”
“Hahaha that movie is so funny it makes me piss my plants.”
“I’m at my holiday party. Wooooo. Feces navidad!!!!!”
Wait, aren’t phones supposed to be smart?
This is Why You’re Fat
www.thisiswhyyourefat.com
People make food. People send photos. People vomit. And die.
Well, maybe not. But just prepare yourself for a behind-the-scenes look at fatties’ fattest fantasies: A cake composed of nothing but Combos Snacks and Cheez Whiz, a deep-fried Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup wrapped in bacon, a loaded garlic bread pizza with mushrooms, popcorn shrimp, corn dogs and bacon. Or how about a hamburger made out of two square pizzas, two McDonald’s Quarter Pounders, fries and condiments?
Even the dessert concoctions are exotic. Pop-Tarts rolled in Fruit Roll-Ups and sliced like sushi?
I’ll take seconds.
Welcome to This is Why You’re Fat: “Where dreams become heart attacks.”
If you still have time before that Blackboard deadline:
www.peopleofwalmart.com
www.textsfromlastnight.com
www.pophangover.cm
www.fark.com
