10 things I learned in school

I’m laying awkwardly on the EIC’s couch the night before deadline (and by deadline I mean I should be putting the paper together, but instead I’m writing this column that was due last week). My hands are poised over my laptop, placed on my stomach, slowly typing these words, looking like Thing’s twins (“The Addams Family,” anyone?). I’m taking my sweet time mostly because this is a quiet moment in my schedule when my head isn’t swarming with all the things I need to do.

After 17 years, I’ll no longer be a student. I won’t be celebrating “spring break! Woop woop!” ever again and I’ll feel too old to relate to Travis Porter’s “College Girl.” Notice I don’t mention how I’ll never be enrolled in courses with a good student-to-teacher ratio again or any other crazy things people look at when they choose colleges. So it seems only fitting that when I look back at my time as a student at USFSP, I don’t cite Associated Press tidbits or that one professor from my second semester. I remember things a different way:

1. Critical Thinking: My dad (yes, the Don McCarty) is awesome. I hear it pretty regularly. And I know. I live with him.
2. Anthropology: I am not a girl. I am a young woman. OK, OK, Dardenne. I will stop calling myself a girl.
3. Sociology: Everyone wants to have fun. We’re all just people with stress in our lives and sometimes we want to let it out. Try it in the right spot and you might find yourself with new friends.
4. Literature: Don’t keep the library waiting. It’ll cost you $33.
5. Language: Smile. The worst thing that could happen is the person you’re interacting with will pretend not to notice.
6. Health & Fitness: Take walks outside. There is no school in the country more beautifully situated on the water, so take advantage of the front-row seating provided. One day I’ll be strolling down some smelly, urban street and reminisce about the harbor.
7. Campus Activities: Never turn down a free pen. Get lots and lots of pens. The one with the most pens at the end wins.
8. Campus Dining: Eat alone. Someone will take pity on you and become your lifelong friend.
9. The Commute: Watch your back in the fast lane. An undercover cop might forget you’re there and send you spinning across the intersection into a parked truck.
10. Extracurricular Activities: Keep your car stocked. You never know when the button of your shorts is going to pop off, your bra strap snap or your new Chucks are going to rub your skin raw. A back up should never be farther away than your trunk/back seat.

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Written by: Tara McCarty on April 17, 2012.
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