This February marks the nine-year anniversary of the founding of Facebook. Thinking about the progression (or regression) of the site might make you marvel. On the other hand, it might remind you of a time when social media wasn’t trying to suck out your soul. Recently, some things are making the effort to stay connected even less worth it. Remember when…
Facebook didn’t ask you how, what and dare-we-say who you were doing. There are real, creepy people for that. Some call them stalkers.
Facebook wasn’t public, meaning they weren’t charging money for a lot of ridiculous services like “promoting” a post. If you’re not getting enough attention from your friends, try adopting a kitten.
Old people hadn’t figured out how to use it yet. Chief among those old people, of course, are your mother, father and weird aunts and uncles. Family reunions are nice to have every five years, but every day in your newsfeed is too much.
Poking was still a thing. It was the king of ambiguous Internet behavior — nobody could quite tell you if it was a friendly jab to the ribs or something more seductive. It’s still there, but you need to crawl through dozens of little submenus to find it.
“The Social Network” hadn’t been released yet. After that, the fame really started going to Zuckerberg’s head.
Middle-schoolers hadn’t discovered it yet. Some things are better left to Myspace.
Facebook wasn’t recommending gifts to send your friends on their birthdays. Whatever Johnny does want for his birthday, we’re pretty sure it’s not lemon cake.
Who thought that Timeline was a good idea again?
“Oh hey, is that me in my pajamas in that sidebar ad for pajamas?” There was a time when Facebook wasn’t using people’s pictures for advertising without even a heads up. Be careful what you upload, kiddies.
