Another year gone. You didn’t lose that weight that you set out to lose last New Year. There was no 2013 apocalypse. In fact, not much of anything happened. Now you’ve got to make sure that nothing never happens again, and 2014 is just the year for the undertaking. Here’s a list of things you MUST do before this year melts away like butter on hot pancakes. Good luck!
# Be more spontaneous. Take a spontaneous road trip or camping adventure. Go see your favorite band play in a faraway place. Better yet, spontaneously combust! All your friends will be doing it in no time.
# Try some freaky different food. Maybe even a vegetable! Some foods expected to trend this year are ice cream sandwiches, non-wheat pasta and a spicy Korean condiment called gochujang.
# Stop going to see Spider Man movies. There’s never going to be a good one, we promise.
# Spend enough time off of the phone and computer that your dreams aren’t in Google search terms and hashtags. #imarealboy
# Adopt a pet or help animals in need as you are able, whether it be a cat, fish, dog (in that order), or the rabid raccoon that lives in your backyard. Furry friends are forever.
# Start accumulating some good karma. Good energy will find its way back to you like bad movie roles find Nicholas Cage. Or is it the other way around … ?
# Join a club or organization. Or better yet, start your own. The Society of Lonely Lumberjacks might just be the talk of the town … or the lumber mill.
# Bring down “the man.” Then celebrate by trying every flavor of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream in one sitting. If you don’t die of sugar poisoning in the process, then congratulations, you have defeated Candy Crush level 2014. Next!
