How can you describe the feelings you get when you enter the unknown? How do you describe that your heart is full of excitement and fear, but that you have to continue in order to accomplish your goals?
I came here a month ago from the Dominican Republic, with a Fulbright scholarship, to do my master’s in journalism and media studies. This is the first time that I’ve traveled to another country and lived on my own.
My first day in St. Petersburg marked my existence forever. I was leaving behind my entire life, friends and family and getting further in an experience that I’ve always dreamed of living, but never imagined how challenging it would be.
A few days ago, one of the other Fulbrighters wrote a post that I identified with. She said that just before her departure to the United States, she felt that she was leaving her body, because a lot of who we are, if not all of what we are, is our social identity.
According to her, we exist in relation to a certain society, and in another social context, we will have to weave a new identity and exist differently. But, she continued, there are things that are too valuable to leave behind that we make sure to carry with us and find a place for in our new context, because without them, existence simply has no meaning.
After her words I understand why I value the opportunity to call my parents and hear their voices. That’s why I felt frustrated when I didn’t have a phone and why my heart melts when I hear my dogs barking on the other end of the line. Also, I realize why I brought a “pilón” (a mortar used to mix spices) in my bags, why I’m so desperately looking for the perfect green plantains to make “tostones” and why I look for Dominican music on YouTube to dance to in the solitude of my American studio apartment.
Nowadays, I’ve learned to appreciate the simple things of life. Every day is full of little victories, from the discovery of a new place to understanding the street signs (so different from the ones in the Dominican Republic).
Furthermore, there are various aspects of American culture that I try to understand because I come from an underdeveloped country that has its strengths and weaknesses. For example, I admire the fact that in the U.S. there’s a sense of security in the streets, but I dislike that you have so much and I feel that Americans don’t appreciate it. There is an abundance of food, clothes and artifacts that are so needed in other nations, and I sense that much of it is wasted here.
Therefore, one of the many lessons I have learned is that sometimes in life you have to close your eyes, fill the heart of faith and take a leap into the unknown. Only then can we enjoy the blessings we would have missed over our fear of the unseen.
Indhira Suero Acosta is a graduate student in journalism and media studies. She can be reached at indhirasuero@mail.usf.edu
