So, fortunately or unfortunately, I work in food service to pay rent. I’m a waitress, and I sling food and drinks for up to 10 hours with no break to people who are sometimes great and sometimes awful.
As a food lover, I get it. You want good food, and you want good service. That’s a given.
But, as a server, I know that my customers think, say and do outrageous things sometimes…and it drives me insane.
So I wrote up a little trick list on how to eat out without looking like a total jerk.
Don’t ask me for one item every single time I bring one to you.
In case you had zero clue, you are not the only table I am waiting on. (SHOCKING, I know.)
That being said, when you ask me for more napkins, and you know you might need some ketchup, and another glass of wine, tell me then. Don’t tell me ketchup, and then when I bring that to you, oh napkins, and then when I bring that to you, oh wine.
Guess what? You now get to wine about the fact your drink is going to take forever. I’m out of time to make another trip right away without neglecting others.
Don’t be rude to me when your food comes out of the kitchen wrong, especially when I’m trying to get it fixed and more than generous with an apology.
I am not the chef. I am not the cook. I am the server. The most I do with food at work is put a piece of bread in a basket, or sauce in a cup. Therefore, if your food comes out wrong and your steak is rare instead of medium rare, and you get potatoes instead of rice, please don’t yell at me. It’s probably not my fault. Yes, I could ring it in wrong, but don’t jump to conclusions and offend the person trying to help you.
Don’t have a hissy fit at the door when we can’t get you the exact, specific, on the water, in a booth, near the fan, with your favorite-server-table you request.
Yes, I do see that open table right there, but guess what else I see? The 20 people on the wait list that I’m holding in my hand as I tell you for the fifth time that yes, we are on a 45 minute wait, and yes it will be longer for outside seating, and no, I cannot get you in faster and no you cannot, CANNOT have that table right there. My best advice: make a reservation. Bingo.
Tell me ahead of time if you are splitting checks.
If you come in with your 15 girlfriends, and plan to all get separate checks, tell me in the beginning.
As a rule, splitting checks gives me splitting headaches.
My least favorite thing to hear is “Um, excuse me, why are our checks taking so long?” Ha! Maybe because I have to figure out if Janie had the bruschetta or if it was the girl in the pink on the end with the rosé, or the woman with the blue sweater who changed seats 10 times.
Pre-warn the server if you’re going to need things split, or better yet, bring cash and do it yourself.
Don’t give me a hundred dollar bill for a thirteen dollar burger.
Servers don’t have a cash register to pull out change. I carry around a certain amount of ones, fives and such each day to make change. When you give me a ridiculous amount to pay for a meal, I now have to run around the restaurant screaming “Does anyone have change for 100? Also, I hate this guy.”
It takes me longer, it takes you longer – and usually – all so you can try to impress your date. Just don’t do it.
Don’t come in later than 30 minutes before close.
If you come in 10 minutes before closing time and sit there an hour afterward, just know that I hate you, and you’re a terrible excuse for a person.
An entire crew of people are now working an extra hour (added onto their already 10 hours, which is a 100 percent on their feet) thanks to your need for a grilled salmon at 10:58 p.m.
Finally: tip me.
I owe the host and bartenders a percentage of my sales. I get paid less than $6 an hour.
If I treat you well and then you don’t tip me, that’s unfair. I now have to pay for you to eat out of my own wallet. And that stinks a fat one.
