By Emma Lathrop
If the idea of a grown man sitting at a bar drinking a Cosmo makes you cringe, you’re not the only one. Why is it that men feel drinking a pink fruity cocktail puts a large target on their backs?
As a female, I know those sugary girly drinks can give you a massive hangover, but they are seriously delicious. Picture this: You go out on a blind date at a bar; he’s handsome, well-spoken, and can hold a decent conversation. The time comes to order drinks, and he orders a Sex on the Beach.
Would that be a deal breaker? If the answer is yes, then ask yourself why. If the answer is no, I give you major points.
Most guys would argue that “girly drinks” are too sweet, or that they like to taste the alcohol in the drink. I wonder if this is just to prove they are big men, if it’s the shape of the glass, because of gender stereotypes, or because they genuinely don’t enjoy sweet drinks.
I strongly believe that you shouldn’t judge a person by their drink preference. If I met a guy who ordered whatever drink he wanted, regardless of the color or name, I would think they are secure enough in their masculinity to not care what other people thought.
Of course, men seem to put you on a pedestal if you are a woman who drinks beer, scotch or whiskey. However, if you are a guy ordering a cranberry vodka at a bar, your guy friends will never let you live it down.
I do feel like there are certain situations where it is socially acceptable for a male to get a pink drink with an umbrella and a maraschino cherry — like if on vacation at a beach in the middle of the day. If you let your partner order for you and they happen to like sweet drinks, apparently your man card will not be revoked since you have an excuse.
All of this sounds insanely complicated to me, and the answer should be simple: Drink what you want to drink. Sure, ordering a lemon drop may earn you a few scolding glances, but confidence is key, my dudes.
My opinion probably won’t be enough to convince you that ordering whatever drink you want is OK, so I asked around. Here are a few of the answers I got. The question was generally “Do you think it’s okay for men to order girly drinks, why or why not?”
-Myles Beach, 21: “I know it’s OK for men to order ‘girly drinks.’ Just, most men don’t. The stigma surrounding girly drinks is simply put: If it’s colorful, sweet and comes in a martini glass, it’s a girly drink that would question your masculinity. I guess you could say it comes down to confidence and if you are able to delve into the world of alcohol without your fragile macho man psyche being put to the test by ordering a ‘girly drink.’”
-Hope Fudenski, 23: “My boyfriend orders ‘girlier’ drinks than I do, and we’re both super comfortable with it, but his brother legit had his fiancé order a drink for him because he didn’t want to ‘look like a girl.’ I guess it depends on the man. Also, I went on a cruise two years ago, and my older brother kept ordering appletinis and some guy got so mad about it that he pushed my brother and had to be escorted to his room by security to cool off.”
Andrew Cevasco, 21: “When I order daiquiris or frozen drinks, it makes me feel like I’m being judged because those are considered ‘girly drinks,’ but that’s just ridiculous. A lot of men would call it ‘gay’ to drink a very fruity mixed drink, which is why men tend to order beer or straight liquor. It’s just a social concept.”
Beau Langford, 21: “I don’t know, I think I would have to say because drinks like that are typically easier for women to drink and guys can drink harder stuff.”
Tyler Hendershot, 23: “It mainly comes down to societal norms that have been instilled along with the fear of embarrassment. Since most guys want to be respected as an ‘alpha’ in a social setting, things that portray them as something lesser is unwanted. So when there is a pressure by other guys or girls to be degraded of your masculinity based off of a drink you want, you just avoid it as a whole.”
Anthony DeLeo, 26: “They’re too sugary.”
Alex Quinto, 20: “Being a gay male, I’d order a girly drink and it seems OK, but if a masculine man did he would be made fun of. I think it has to do with the fear of coming across feminine and that men are supposed to drink beer and have beards. But God forbid a martini glass be in a man’s hand. But at the same time, if he’s a rich man, he would have wine over beer, so maybe there’s a connection to class as well.”
John DeLorenzo, 56: “I just think they are too sugary, but if you put a lemon drop in a whiskey glass I wouldn’t think twice about it.”
Eileen Dillon, 36: “I don’t want to drink a mojito with my boyfriend. If I were on a blind date and the guy ordered a Pina Colada, I’d leave.”
Everyone has a different opinion on the subject, but I was pleasantly surprised that most men were OK with the idea of drinking a fruity drink.
I still didn’t have a general consensus if it was OK for a male to order a fruity cocktail, so I took to Instagram. I put up a poll with a picture of a frozen alcoholic beverage and simply asked, “Is it okay for a guy to order a ‘girly drink?’” The answer options were “yeah sure why not” and “never.”
Of 56 votes, 91 percent said “yeah sure why not,” and 9 percent said “never.” While I cannot tell you who voted for what, every person who voted “never” was male, and there was an even mix of men and women who said, “yeah sure why not.”
It seems that a majority of people online think it’s OK to order whatever you want. While I hope the world of drinking becomes more willing to not stereotype different drinks. People shock me every day.
Let’s end on a call to arms: Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time to raise your glass (whatever its contents) and toast to a new year with good friends and no judgment.
