By Emma Lathrop
Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, and if you don’t have a bae like me, I have good news for you.
We no longer need to make romantic connections by going out into the world and meeting new people. Tinder is here to rescue you from the inconvenience that is dating.
If you are between the ages of 18 and 30, you probably know of or have Tinder. In case you still have no clue what I am talking about, let me enlighten you.
Tinder is a free dating app. Once downloaded, you make a profile with your first name, age, a brief biography and photos.
Tinder then shows you potential matches in your area. You can see the pictures people put on their profile and a short bio.
If you both swipe right on each other’s profiles, it opens up a chat where you can send your match a message.
If you swipe left, it simply means you aren’t interested, and more profiles appear to swipe through.
While all that sounds good in theory, navigating through the many profiles is vastly impersonal yet strangely addicting.
I confess I have only hung out with one match from Tinder. Let’s just say it didn’t go so well.
The only time I use Tinder is when work is slow and I’ve lost interest in every other app on my phone. That being said, I have experienced some rather hilarious and vulgar remarks from men on Tinder.
Without further ado, here are some of the most ridiculous pick-up lines I’ve received on Tinder.
“Are you the SAT? Because I would do you for three hours and forty-five minutes… with a ten minute break in the middle for snacks.” (No… Just no.)
“Wow you have gorgeous eyes. Mind if I get lost in them right up until I kiss you?” (Cringe.)
“How do you like your eggs in the morning? Scrambled? Or fertilized?” (Don’t think I need to explain this one.)
“If you found a bag full of money and the amount was the exact same as your phone number, how much money would you have?” (Clever, but not falling for it.)
“HELLO PLEASE COME RUIN MY LIFE YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.” (Wow, um, alrighty then.)
I’ve concluded that Tinder might be an easy way to meet a one-night stand, but for anyone trying to make a real connection, the chances are pretty low.
Meeting people “the old fashioned way” is probably the best bet for forming new relationships. Plus, who wants to say they met their spouse on Tinder?
I think online dating gives young adults an excuse to be lazy, and not improve social skills in person.
Of course, I am guilty of wanting dating to be convenient, but that opens the door to making everything convenient.
Eventually, I’d never have to leave my house, get fat and lose all social skills. Then, who would want me as their Valentine?
If anyone is curious this year, I’ll spend my Valentine’s Day taking a walk with my dog, eating some good food, watching 007, and deleting my stupid Tinder.
So, to Tinder, I say adios. Thanks for the laughs and good riddance.
