It’s OK to feel indecisive.
Emma Lathrop is an English major with a concentration in writing studies. She aspires to write novel to film adaptations after she graduates. Courtesy of Brendon Porter
By Emma Lathrop
When I was in elementary school, I wanted to be a ballerina. In middle school, I wanted to be a veterinarian. In high school, I thought I wanted to be a nurse. In college, I wasn’t so sure.
How much time do we really need to figure out what we want to do? When did I go from ballerina to clueless, and how do I find my way in the adult world? My college career has been one of the most confusing and difficult experiences in my life so far. It has been one hell of a journey, and I don’t regret anything.
Upon graduating high school, I was faced with the most life-altering choice of my entire existence — at least, that’s what it seemed like.
College.
My parents told me that if I didn’t go to college and get a degree they would basically disown me. So, I knew I was going with no questions asked. I thought I wanted to be a nurse and attend Florida Gulf Coast University in Fort Myers. After my orientation, I was signed up, had two roommates, knew what dorm I was in and had paid pretty much all of my fees.
Two weeks before I was set to move in, I decided I didn’t want to go to FGCU. So, I canceled everything and managed to sign up for the last orientation date at USF St. Petersburg. On the morning of that orientation, my dog died. I was shocked and sobbing hysterically from both the pain and loss of a loved pet. The head of the orientation program told me if I left to go home I would not be able to attend USF St. Petersburg, even with my unfortunate circumstances.
I went home anyway.
There I was, out of options and out of time. I took the semester off, traveled a bit and enrolled in community college for the spring semester.
Once I had finished my first semester at St. Petersburg College, I realized that nursing wasn’t my calling. My parents had pushed me to be a nurse because they thought it would be a secure and enjoyable career. Between the biology and math classes, I maintained a C average. Many of my friends had completely flunked out their first semester, so I was pretty proud. Then came the nagging questions of what I wanted to do and what I wanted to major in.
I had no clue, so I started thinking about the subjects I enjoyed in high school. Math was a jumble of numbers for me. Science was OK. History was kind of boring. English was my favorite. But my adviser had once told me that I couldn’t make a living with an English degree, so I didn’t even consider it.
During my junior and senior years of high school, I volunteered at a summer camp for foster kids, and I loved that. So, in my second semester, I changed my major to education, thinking maybe I could teach little kids. I was still taking general education classes, and they were all super boring. I finished up my first year of college with a 3.1 GPA, once again having no idea what I wanted to do.
My third semester of college started in my academic adviser’s office, where I told her all of my issues with deciding a major. We discussed my interests, my passions, the classes I enjoyed taking and the classes I didn’t. She came to the conclusion I should major in business, because “There is so much you can do with it.” The business major included a lot of math and accounting classes. Her suggestion didn’t make much sense to me, considering I struggled with both of those subjects.
I switched anyway because I thought my adviser knew what she was talking about.
That year, I dragged my way through courses, hating every minute of them. I thought college was about learning more about the subjects you’re interested in. At this point, I was just going through the motions, skipping assignments and dreading going to class. I considered dropping out so many times that year, and almost did when my stress had reached an all-time high. Miraculously, I finished my third and fourth semesters with a 3.0 GPA, an associate degree, and more questions than ever.
After I managed to get my associate degree, I figured I should switch over to USF St. Petersburg because it had a great business program. I applied for a transfer over the summer and attended the transfer orientation. (My dog didn’t die this time.) I enrolled as a business student and registered for statistics and managerial accounting.
On the first day of class, I had an epic meltdown. I woke up with this pit in my stomach, feeling depressed and hopeless. If I took more math and accounting classes I would be on a fast track to dropping out and joining the circus. I was seriously considering it.
Again, I thought back to what I enjoyed in high school. All I wanted to do was read books and write. My SPC adviser told me I couldn’t make a career with an English degree, so I said: “Screw it.” If I was going to stay in college, I might as well study something I enjoy.
I didn’t go to class; I went straight to a new academic adviser and told her I needed to switch my major and classes. She could only get me into two classes for the semester, which was fine with me as long as they weren’t statistics. I ended up missing the first week of class because my schedule didn’t update, and I went to the wrong class. It took me a bit to catch up, but I was shocked at how different these classes were from my business ones. I was taking creative writing and literature classes that I actually enjoyed and looked forward to.
So, don’t be afraid to change your major and study something you have a passion for. Once I figured that out, it was my turning point from a lost college student to a wandering but determined young woman.
