The “not the commercials with Justin Long” playlist
Written by Crow's Nest Staff, Mar 6, 2012, 0 Comments
Apple is all set to unveil the iPad 3 this week. Some are speculating that it will shoot lasers and make you a full English breakfast, but it will probably just have more memory and a nicer screen. Oh, and a great commercial.
Apple has a history of making really good commercials. From 1984 to Think Different to Mac vs. PC, Apple has pushed the envelope on those 30-second spots just as much as it has for computing. It has even managed to lift a few of the songs featured in its commercials to the top of the charts. In honor of the iPad 3 (which will probably do your homework for you), we honor those songs.
“Never Stop” – Chilly Gonzalez
Yeah. You know the one. It’s got the snappy fingers and the choppy piano thing. The commercial tells you about everything the iPad is: Delicious. Artful. Productive. Expensive. Sexy. Did you know that Fleshlight just made a product that attaches to the iPad? Some people really love their electronics.
“New Soul” – Yael Naim
One of the things we’ve never been able to understand (along with Jell-O, coffee snobs, Canada, etc.) is how non-native English speakers can be so articulate when they sing. Yael Naim is an Israeli-French singer that Apple pulled out of nowhere for a Macbook Air commercial. “I’m a new soul/I came to this strange world/Hoping I could learn a bit about how to give and take,” she sings. She took fame from Apple. Will she give us more hits?
Anything by The Ting Tings
The Ting Tings had a rare triple appearance in Apple ads with “That’s Not My Name,” “Shut Up and Let Me Go,” and “Great DJ.” All three are pretty annoying. Thanks, Apple.
“Music Is My Hot, Hot Sex” – CSS
Lead singer Lovefoxxx (what kind of a name is that?) sings about how music is her boyfriend. Meanwhile, thousands of Apple nerds sitting around the Genius Bar are looking for a girlfriend. Sort of ironic, innit?
“Are You Gonna Be My Girl” – Jet
Jet was featured in one of the first iPod silhouette commercials—those iconic images that put the iPod on the map. It put Jet on the map, too. At least for a little while. “Roll Over DJ,” “Cold Hard Bitch” and “Look What You’ve Done” followed this song, and then Jet sort of crashed. Crashed… get it?
“Jerk It Out” – Caesars
Apple continued its string of vaguely sexual song titles (or not so vaguely, as the case may be) with “Jerk It Out.” These guys are Swedes, though. It’s probably some weird slang for eating salted fish or building something from IKEA.
