Some movie titles are just so blatantly obvious and without thought that they can be disheartening to the frequent moviegoer. Is it even worth your time and money when they’re slapping any old name on the thing? Maybe we want something that inspires some thought, or is at least colorfully descriptive.
Here are some alternative titles to popular flicks:
– Male being of steely anatomy
– Master of the circular finger girdles
– Less-than-wholesome non-living persons
– Guidance on weaning your flame-throwing lizard baby
– Quentin Tarantino goes through a lot of bottles of ketchup (applicable to several films)
– Two cowboy chaps climb vertebrae snapping landscapes to express their feelings
– Too many corny one-liners cause ship to sink; ’90s music ensues
– Animatronic lizards brought to life by The Colonel wreak havoc on a tropical land mass
– Morgan Freeman eloquently phrases life lessons (applicable to even more films)
– The journal inscribed with inscriptions, and Ryan Gosling’s face
– Forceful leg motion to the rump
– Really big fish sharpens incisors on Homo sapiens; the world learns that it only takes two notes to inspire terror
– Scarlet bodily fluids are very likely
– I Am “an unverified story handed down from earlier times, especially one popularly believed to be historical.”
Answers:
1. Iron Man
2. Lord of the Rings
3. Evil Dead
4. How to Train your Dragon
5. Most Quentin Tarantino movies
6. Brokeback Mountain
7. Titanic
8. Jurassic Park
9. Any movie starring Morgan Freeman
10. The Notebook
11. Kick Ass
12. Jaws
13. There Will Be Blood
14. I Am Legend
