By Katlynn Mullins
My best friend died by suicide when we were 17.
We met in sixth grade, our birthdays were three days apart and she was going to go to veterinary school after high school.
Her name was Sarah.
She was always an impulsive person — do it now, think about the consequences later. But what happens when there is no later?
September is Suicide Prevention Month. Candor, when it comes to trauma, has become a trend recently. Why not take my turn in the limelight?
Prevention starts with how it’s covered in the media.
Initially, there isn’t anything wrong with the coverage itself. However, shows like “Thirteen Reasons Why” make it wrong. It’s dramatized, and though people die like the character Hannah Baker did, that shouldn’t be the focal point of the show.
Sure, her grieving parents are shown seeking answers about their daughter’s death, and Clay’s character is constantly wondering where he went wrong, but the overriding presence of that show is a teenage girl dying in a bathtub.
It’s everything wrong with approaching suicide and its prevention.
Whenever The New York Times writes an obituary, the word “dead” is found in the lede.
The second paragraph in each of the following examples contains a statement from law enforcement.
Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain’s 1994 obituary reads, “killed himself with a single gunshot blast to the head.”
Actor Robin Williams’ 2014 obituary reads, “suspects the death to be a suicide due to asphyxia.”
Linkin Park frontman Chester Bennington’s 2017 obituary reads his death was “being investigated as a possible suicide” after law enforcement officials responded to a call.
Though the cause of death was never the most important element in these examples, the way it reads became less drama and more fact.
Notice none of them said “committed suicide.” A dead person can’t commit anything; they’re dead. While sensitivity is shown, none of them tiptoe around the truth. News affects people, and it should be delivered candidly.
How it happened, however, isn’t a passing question. Often, the person being asked is reliving a traumatic experience while the other person is waiting for an answer.
Instead, the focus should be: What have they taught you? What was one thing that always made them smile? Why did you love them so much?
As a reporter, I’m expected to be impartial. I’ve always told myself that I’d take the opportunity to cover a suicide story if it arose because I’d know to handle it. But the truth is, I couldn’t and wouldn’t be expected to.
I can leave advice though, whether it’s taken or not.
Take your time if you feel it’s necessary. Don’t get caught up in the speed of chasing a story and pull the trigger too early. This news, like any news, affects people.
Be gentle.
Suicide isn’t a disease, the illness evoking the feeling is. Suicide is the breaking point, the part that’s preventable.
Prevention, however, starts with making it comfortable to talk about — providing an environment that acknowledges suicide as a problem instead of an escape.
This comes from talking about what happens after death: grief.
Gut-wrenching, drop-to-your-knees and scream grief. Therapy sessions, using substances to cope, staying up all night and wondering where the hell it all went wrong.
There is no scene-switching to my best friend’s last days when I think about her. There are no tapes in a box for my friends and me to pass around. Answers aren’t clear cut in real life like they are on “Thirteen Reasons Why.”
I don’t know where it went wrong for her. I remember a recovering girl who knew how to love others unconditionally, but never herself.
Suicide isn’t scandalous. It’s heartbreaking. I do believe it’s romanticized, but I also believe the media has made a conscious effort in recent years to bring it to light.
Prevention is an ongoing battle that we’ve only just begun.
But I have hope.
If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.
There are also free online mental health screenings are available at http://screening.mentalhealthscreening.org/USFSP
For more information on services provided by the Wellness Center, you can call them at (727) 873-4422 or visit them at the Student Life Center, room 2200.
