The most important piece of grown-up advice I can give you is to never begin an email with “hey.” Just don’t do it.
Since I started at USF St. Petersburg, I’ve received 109 emails that open with “Hey Wendy.” One or two are from professors I know well, a few are “hey y’alls” or “hey-os,” which add character and get a free pass. The rest are from students and colleagues and even an editor or two. And, in nearly every instance, I’ve cringed. Here’s why:
Let’s take a trip back to 2009, to a content strategy agency in a small office with an open floor plan—both too hip to be headquartered in downtown Bradenton. After six or so turbulent months of graduating college, moving from Brooklyn to Sarasota and working in coffee shops and bakeries along the way, I finally had a “real job”—with business cards that listed “associate content editor” as my job title. I was in heaven. I was also about to face a salutation intervention.
“You can’t start an email to our writers by saying ‘hey,’” the editor and president of the company told me sweetly but firmly, breaking the mid-afternoon office silence.
“Yeah, just don’t say hey,” another editor chimed in, swiveling around in his chair to face me. “It’s too informal.”
After a few more exchanges, I realized starting an email by writing “hey” would make me sound as young as I was, and if not that, be perceived as unprofessional. “Hey” is fine when you pass a colleague in the hall, but as far as print is concerned hey is, in fact, for horses. And I haven’t started an email with it since.
The expression, I just learned, is a clever quip reminding the hey-ee to speak with a bit more respect.
I looked to the queen of etiquette, Ms. Emily Post. Post doesn’t have anything to say about “hey” versus “hi”—all of her greetings begin with “dear.”
Post died in 1960, but her manners live on through the Vermont-based Emily Post Institute that provides U.S. corporations with etiquette advice.
“‘Hey’ is a funny one. I never used to have a problem with it … until I met the CEO of a young, hip company, who said she hated it. She said it sounds like a sharp jab,” Post spokeswoman Anna Post told the BBC in 2011.
“Other experts weighed in on the black sheep salutation, saying such informality is insulting, especially when the person writing has never met you in the flesh. An English teacher gave sound advice as well, writing “address your reader as you would in the context in with which you are replacing the email.”
Why is this the most important piece of grown-up advice I can give you? Because if piss people off before the first sentence of your message, chances are they won’t keep reading. And, when applying for jobs or other activities, you want people to find you interesting and take you seriously.
In the real world, it’s best to leave your hey’s back in your heydays.
